To the Mothers

Ma-ma!
Urgent scream from my three-year-old.  Every single time he wakes up.

Mo-om.
Eye-roll and extra long "o" sound from disgruntled seven-year-old.

I wuv you, Mama.
As my three-year-old places a hand on each side of my face and a sloppy wet kiss on my lips.

I love you the whole much, Mama.
Extra long hug from the seven-year-old at bedtime or anytime she wants me to linger just a little bit longer. 

I love being a Mother. But sometimes I do wish I could change my name and hide.  And maybe take a nap.  Oh and potty alone.


Lately I've been thinking about  the various moms in my life.  Yes, there are many.  Aside from the relationship I have with my own wonderful Mother - I am surrounded by mothers!  I am inspired and driven by you.  Encouraged by the way you live and love your children.  I am not going to name any names here but I wanted to tell these ladies in an indirect way how they have inspired and amazed me.

To my Mother:  

My mother loves to garden and has always
encouraged me to "bloom where I'm planted". 

Thank you.  Thank you for the beautiful person that you are, inside and out.  Thank you that you have always spoken your mind to me and shared your views of life with me - even when you didn't realize you were doing it.  Thank you for inspiring me.  Thank you for inspiring others to see and use their natural gifts and talents.  Thank you for pursuing your dreams while we were growing up and teaching us the important lessons of perseverance and education and having goals in life.  Thank you for putting up with me when I was a selfish brat growing up.  Thank you for being involved in my children's lives - no matter the distance.  Thank you for laughing with me and crying with me.  Thank you for loving me and my brother just as we are - and just as we individually need for you to.  I am sorry it took me so long to realize that we both had different needs at different times and needed correction and instruction and love in different forms.  Now that I am a mother, I see that all too clearly.

To the Mothers of my parents: 

These women are both amazing in their own right.  I have written about one of my grandmothers here and have been working on a little bio/essay for my other grandmother that will hopefully be published at a different date.  These women are so unique and different in how they loved me... but both taught me the value of being true to myself and God and the importance of serving others.  And both of my grandmothers were/are VERY good in the kitchen...

To the Mother of my husband:

What an amazing woman.  I miss her so much.  She is one mother that I learned a great deal from and never really had the chance to fully appreciate until it was too late.  She was an amazing mother to her children.  She served others and she prayed for others.  She did this quietly and privately.  She was very smart.  She taught others and never stopped educating herself.  She raised  four children and all are wonderful people in their own way - but I am pretty partial to her youngest son.  She did good.  My husband is thoughtful, sentimental, caring, helpful, and I know that she had a hand in making him the wonderful man that he is.  I know that she was proud of her children and I am certain that she would be proud of all of her grandchildren.  She loved being a grandmother and she is missed each and every day.

To my "other mothers": 

There are a handful of women that I still admire and think of as my "other mothers".  These women were either friends of my mother or mothers of friends (and sometimes both).

I think it is important for children to be raised by loving and wonderful parents certainly, but I think it is equally important for children to know other adults in their life that reinforce what they are learning in their home.  I was blessed as a child in that when I went to stay with a friend, it was in a home in which my parents felt comfortable sending me and they knew that I would have fun and be well cared for.  When I was a teenager, this became even more important as we were usually up to something and would literally crowd around our mothers and sing in chorus, "Have we got a deal for you..."

As I have become a mother, I think fondly on these "other mothers" in my life.  The Sunday School teachers, the grandmothers of friends that I would sit with in church because both of my parents were either singing in the choir or playing an instrument and I needed someone to "keep me in line", the carpoolers and picker-uppers.  The camp counselors and teachers.  As I grew up and moved away from home, I began to appreciate these wise and wonderful women even more.  Now that I am far from home, more of these "other mothers" have been placed into my life for a hug right when I've needed one. You're never too old for a hug from a "mama".

As a mother myself, I am hoping that I am not only providing my children with similar relationships with mothers other than their own, but that I am doing what I can to be a good "other mother" to the friends of my children.

To the moms that never had children of their own:

I was really blessed with a special group of women in my life that were a huge part of raising me.  My great aunts.  My grandmother had three sisters.  Two of these special ladies were never able to have children of their own.  That didn't seem to bother them because their other two sisters shared the love with them.  It was like having 5 grandmothers!  These women, in addition to my grandmothers, taught me so much about caring for others.

Each summer, these brave women would keep my brother and I for a week so that my parents could have a little time away.  Usually during that week we would attend Vacation Bible School at their church.  We would always go swimming at the community pool and we would eat veggies fresh out of their gardens. One summer they took us to an amusement park and one of these great aunts rode with me on my first roller coaster ride.  While we stayed with them, we saw them take food to the sick, bake birthday cakes for friends, place flowers on graves, teach Sunday School at their church, and take vegetables to friends from their gardens.

Thank you!

Thank you to the women that I've mentioned here and to the countless women that have "mothered" me at some point in my life.  I truly believe that people are placed in our life at just the right time and place to help us become more than we ever knew we could be.

Thank you, Pauline!!

Powerful piece today on @girlbodypride by Jennifer Collins. Mothers? This is for you. Waiting for the Mean Girl http://t.co/GoouMdplbm
— pauline m. campos (@Pauline_Campos) June 19, 2013

What Are You Waiting For?

Good intentions.
Great ideas.
One day I'll....

I am the queen of good intentions.  I am an "ideas" person.  I can come up with some pretty darn good ideas.  Those ideas don't always gain traction - both at home and at work - but man, I can come up with some great ideas.

My children don't always understand that my ideas are sometimes just that.  Ideas.  Things we could be doing.  In their eyes, my ideas have become a promise that I have made to them that I don't always follow through with.  To them I am a walking Pinterest site - full of great ideas and plans.  Some of them are accomplished and create great memories.  Sadly, much of the time my ideas quickly turn into the disappointment my children feel when there just isn't enough time to do it all.

This is not something new to me.  I was made this way.  It is a blessing and a curse.  Fortunately I have been able to turn this characteristic into a job skill.  It has been an integral part of every position I have held.  My creativity has been able to put groceries in the cabinet, gas in the car, and helped keep the lights on at the house.

But last weekend my daughter and young son said something that stopped me in my tracks.  We were going to do a craft project.  Both of them had responsibilities that they needed to complete before we could do it.  I had things that really needed to get done, too.

My husband and I are pretty strict about delaying the things we want to do when there are things that we need to get done.  This is an important lesson that we really want our children to understand.

But before I got to the "if we get that done" portion of getting them excited about the project, both of them said in their own way, "If we have time.  We know Mommy.  If we have time."

I've been chewing on that for a few days. "If we have time."


Time.  My whole life I've heard little quips and clichés bout time. How you never get it back.  You can't stop it.  How it marches on.  I've learned that the mundane seems to drag along and the moments you want to treasure and cherish go screaming by.

Sometimes you don't even recognize a cherished moment until it is long, long gone.  

The past few weeks I've had a chance to ponder some pretty scary thoughts regarding my health and this has changed my perspective on how much time I have been spending making plans and having ideas that never come to fruition.

I've made a decision to start doing more with my ideas.  I've decided to follow through with them to the end.  I've decided to re-ignite the hope and joy and creativity that is burning bright in my children but had been dimmed a little because time and certain responsibilities were getting in the way.

The dishes and clothes that need to be put away can wait.  I would much rather use the two days each week  and short hours each night that I get to spend completely with my children doing more with them and not quite as much around them.

I am going to do more of the things that I have intended on doing sometime in the future "when the time is right".

I'm not going to wait any longer to tackle tough things that have been ideas floating around in my head.

I am going to serve the Lord more boldly.  I am going to volunteer more. I am going to get my hands dirty and help others more. I am going to write more.  I am going to climb a mountain with my husband.  I am going to play with my children more.  I am going to run in as many races as my little legs will let me.  I am going to take my kids to Disney.

I am going to live a full life.  

This week, my husband and I finally put life and responsibilities on hold and took our children fishing.  After work.  When we were tired.  We left dishes in the sink and unfolded clothes on the couch.  And had the time of our lives.

We have no guarantees on exactly how much time we have in this life.  It doesn't have to take a health prognosis to make you re-prioritize your life.  It could just be that you look at your children one day and realize how quickly they are growing up.  It might just take a glance in the mirror.  It might come to you at that quiet moment just before you fall asleep after a long, hard day at work.  But grab that moment of clarity and go with it.

My thought for the week:

Be deliberate with your time.  It is the only thing in life that you can't get back.